what matters most is how well you walk through the fire

i was visiting some friends in madrid
eight hours in a bus from my home in barcelona
these last years i've lived in leiden, nieuwegein and montpellier
i don't know where home lies anymore
i lived in the same city for as long as i could remember
i had a comfortable life
and security
and the chains that come with it
so i never really thought home would be any other place
but i've had many homes now
too many chains are broken
and i don't know

like heihachi did to kazuya i threw myself down an abyss
trusting i'd be a better man once i had climbed my way back

i threw myself down an abyss and of course i feel
lost

everything has changed
i erased myself for what i was wouldn't work
what i used to be had too many parts made out of television
prejudices
habits
reflexes
and so on
the world draws a line in front of you, as you're born somewhere
and though you can paint yourself in colors
the line is there
and you follow it

i've been throwing myself down in so many abysses
trying to erase myself
and start again
i have no reference points any longer
though my body remains and smiles
and goes to the kitchen and to the bathroom and to bed
i'm in this weird place without a flashlight

so many times
when there was only one home and one line and one way
i had everybody against me
and it never shook me
for i was sure

how can i still be sure about anything?
people point at me and i stop to look at it
i feel insecure
and as castles burn
and people point
i was afraid i could also be on fire

but i was visiting some friends in madrid
and they were comfortable around me
and deep down from my abyss i sense i still could help them
and i made sushi for the first time and it was tasty

food can tell

i must be ok