She came from out of nowhere. A couple of years trying to change. A couple of years look like a long time when you’re trying to go to bed a better man than you got up in the morning. It’s tiresome and frustrating and I was wondering if she would ever come. And there she was, out of nowhere. After a hard day at work, I sat for a few beers. Friends arrived and more people arrived and I blinked and the bar was full and I blinked my eyes again and she was there, sitting by my side on the next table – though I didn’t even know it was her.
I was a shithead, but a greater shithead arrived. An alpha shithead, or something. He was trying to hit on her. The bar was crowded and, as she was right beside me, on the other table, the motherfucker sat on the arm of my chair. Almost on my lap. He was one of my friend’s cousin, so I couldn’t just slap him away. I thought of alternatives. If I couldn’t deal straight with him, I’d have to talk to her.
“Look, this guy’s sitting almost on my lap, just to talk to you. Why won’t you invite him to your table? You have a free chair...”
“I’ll wine and dine you, baby”, the motherfucker interrupted me. “I know how to treat my women... I put my women on a pedestal!”
“You see it?” Asked her sister. “That’s why we won’t invite him to our table. I’m sorry if he’s on your lap, but this guy is a fucking encyclopedia of stupid lines. And he’s a pocket encyclopedia, on top of it. He repeated the same lines twenty times already. My sister is not this type of girl, you see? My sister can even speak German!”
“Can you speak German?” I asked the girl who kept smiling in silence. At her face, an expression of sarcasm so cute it got me. She said:
“I can only speak a little bit”
“So speak to me”
“Ah, I can’t think of anything to say”
“Anything...”
“Anything!”
“Shit, but in German!”
“Ah...”
I insisted. Out of curiosity. I wanted to see a pretty girl saying things in German. It would be funny. I insisted till she gave up. She said she didn’t understand me. That was so amazing. I can’t understand me myself.
“I can’t understand me myself” I said. She almost spat her beer. Didn’t expect me to understand her northern words. I, myself, didn’t expect to understand shit. The world is a strange place. I get surprised often.
I n a few minutes the alpha shithead was isolated in a bubble. Still on my chair’s arm, though. Throwing stupid lines from time to time. The sisters whispered something between themselves. Next, to my ear:
“We’d like to invite you to our table”
I offered my seat to the alpha shithead and installed myself at the other table. I was a shithead, but she looked at me with such a caress I left that table imagining a princess could actually love an ugly toad.
And later we talked and talked and exchanged countless emails and we kissed and she planted the first love seed within me. A real love, beyond bedroom fantasies. The love I was searching for and just couldn’t find in most people around me.
She pushed the mountains away and summoned threes with flowers. I had the glimpse of my path to follow.
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